Hey reader, you see that play on words I just made? Yeah, well that wasn't an accident. In fact, I thought it was so clever that I didn't think your simple mind would be able to comprehend the brilliance of my play on words, and I wanted to make sure you know that I'm not only smart enough to use homonyms, but that I'm smart enough to point them out.The sheer level of narcissism it takes to think that anyone gives a shit about whether or not you meant to write your pun is mind boggling. If narcissism were measured in units of mass, the skulls of people who pointed out puns would crush in on themselves in a giant black hole of stupidity.
The other variation of calling attention to a pun is the pun denial, or "no pun intended," which is a less formal way of saying:
Dear Reader,The phrase "no pun intended" makes me want to band saw my dick off just in case I'm the last man alive and I have to risk repopulating Earth with some moron's incapable vagina.There's no such thing as an unintentional pun; the act of typing the phrase "no pun intended" makes it intentional. If your pun truly wasn't intended, then why didn't you erase it and write something else, asshole?
Please direct your attention towards my pun. Admittedly I do think it's clever, but I think that you think so highly of me, that I want you to know that I would never resort to using such a commonplace literary device in my prose. Therefore, I would like to formally renounce my attempt at humor and assure you that I am above making puns as a writer, as a pupil of language, and as citizen of Earth.
He was trying so hard to impress this chick, that he made a pun and followed it with "(and yes, pun intended!!)" So not only did he point out his pun, but he took it a step further and answered an imaginary rhetorical question that nobody was asking. Here's how the conversation played out in his head:
IRISH4LIFE: "Fighting global warming is cool." Hmm, I wonder if people will get the subtle association between the word "cool" and the concept of "global warming," since global warming has to do with heat, and the word cool has to do with cultural attitudes and perceptions as well as how chill something is. Holy shit, another pun! I'm on fire! HOLY SHIT! Three puns in a row?! I'm so getting laid. But what if she reads it and doesn't get it? I can picture her in my head:Ho ho ho! Laugh it up, dickwad. People who point out their puns should be put to sleep (gassed).
Lonely mom: "Wait! Did you intentionally--"IRISH4LIFE: I'd better cut her off mid-sentence while she's thinking by adding the parenthetical: "(yes! yes, that was intentional)." You've still got it, Irish.
None of the 1,935,224 uses of the word "pun" on this page were unintentional.
© 2008 by Maddox