|You Must Be A Redneck If|
|* You recycle your own toilet paper|
* Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad
* You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants.
* You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate."
* Your bumper sticker reads: "One more Whore and We Get Gore."
* The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.
* Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.
* You hunt from your bedroom window.
* Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
* You refrigerate your food stamps.
* You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill.
* You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween.
* Your idea of a loaded dishwasher is getting your wife drunk.
* You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives.
* You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone.
* You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.
* You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton!
* The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?"
* You take a beer to a job interview.
* You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater.
* When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.
* You go to Goodwill to meet women.
* You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!