Monday, October 18, 2010

Thoughts on thoughts

    • What the hell is with teenage girls! It's like if a guy holds a door for you A FRICKEN DOOR! They immadiately think "OMG he likes me!" They then repeat a mantra of this while  smiling to themselves throught the day. The next day is where the real fun starts. The next day the girl begins to stalk her victim pin-pointing his wherabouts throught the day and studying their habits. Soon the dude begins to feel uncomfortable. The Female is soon with the cold hard fact that this guy doesn't like her and falls into a pit of despair vowing a life of lonliness and contemplating becoming a nun. After a day of brooding, the female returns to her habitat waiting for her next unsuspecting victem.
    • My theory on Sesame Street: Sesame street is really a gang (the street looks like a ghetto and you never see anyone else but the characters), Elmo is a Blood. Cookie Monster is a Crypt(his cookies are filled with Marijuanna). Oscar is really a homless person that deals drugs. Big Bird is a Mob Boss Snufflupagus(name says it all). And Gordon and all the real people are just stoned and all the puppets aren't really there.
    • The Zoloft commercial( You know the one with the little round dude and the ladybug): We have all seen this commercial 10 MILLON TIMES! This stupid little round dude is all sad(probably because it is the only one of it's kind and it doesn't know what the HELL it is!)Are you trying to tell me that the reason why people are commiting suicide, getting fat eating tubs of rocky road, becoming anorexic and depressed because there are more round thingies are in nerve B than A?!I mean C'mon! In the words of Chris Rock "Whatever happened to CRAZY"? The side effects that people taking ZOLOFT experience most include nausea, difficulty sleeping, drowsiness, anxiety, nervousness, weakness, loss of appetite, tremors, dry mouth, sweating, decreased sex drive, impotence, and/or yawning...Aren't these parts of depression? At least a depressed  person doesn't experience TREMORS! Then at the end of the commercial the little round dude is bouncing happily following the ladybug, and the sun is shining and everyone sings the happy song, ect. "Mr. Ladybug, will you be my friend? We'll be the bestest friends! and sing songs and dance and shop at the GAP, and.." Ladybug yells "F#$% OFF!" "Wait for meee! We haven't talked about our feelings!" In my own opinion, Anti-depressants are drugs and the result of the medication  is just getting high. That's right, doctors are getting you stoned so you will SHUT THE HELL UP!....Time for my medication.....